A Treatise on Self-Inflicted Agony

I thought it might be high-time for me to add a few comments of my own to the blog. Cami has done a great job picking up my slack this past month, and for that I am grateful. It seems that Cami is really great at picking up my slack generally... I keep promising her that one day the roles will reverse and I will be the one to do the picking, but until that day comes I can only be grateful for a wonderful friend and companion who not only says that she loves me, but shows me that she does through her thoughts, words, and deeds.
Part of my excuse for leaving so much slack in my life for Cami to pick up is the extreme anxiety I daily face over the completion of my research-- the culmination of which being in the form of a 30 page 'scholarly' document about something I pretend to know only just a little about. Everyday I subject myself to paralyzing agony over the sheer thought of putting words on paper towards this end. This mind-numbing punishment I renew each morning with increased devotion. Day by day I slavishly approach my computer, open my rough draft document, and proceed to minimize it in order to direct my attention to just about any other activity that I can invent. I permit these distractions to control my mind until a sufficient amount of guilt builds in my bossom and finally explodes in a crazed outburst of writing. Of course these outburts are in direct relation to the degree of pressurized guilt which prompts the explosion. And, as is the case with all actions which ellicit guilt, daily my guilt dwindles until a week from now I fear I may not feel at all guilty about playing spider solitaire for 6 hours straight.
I know that as Cami has read this, her grip on the arms of her office chair has continued to tighten until at this moment it may actually require minor surgery to remove her fingers from the plasticized foam arm rests. Therefore, I will reassure her (and anyone who may be concerned) with this simple little life-altering revelation I recieved this afternoon: I need to get off my lazy derrier and git 'er done! This measure of self-motivating censure has kicked my guilt into over-drive today. Now my goal is to hold onto this guilt in order to use it as a daily motivation to get work done without the ever-mecessary ritual distractions.
Although this may all be a little over-dramatized, the fact of the matter is that I guess I have been a little intimidated by the daunting nature of the task ahead. But I feel confident that I may find the strength sufficient to accomplish all things I must as I continue to rely on those who make my life a blessing to live: my Lord, my wife, my family (including my great in-laws), and my friends. Thanks to all of you who fill me with stength. May I find a way to fulfill the measure of your expectations.